Lie #17 - yo!

It was Friday night and it had been a full day since we'd had a party at our frat house. (I just haven't had time to report them all here, although I'd have to say that if you've been to one frat house party, you've been to them all.)

At Chad's suggestion I brought a case of rum again, which was much appreciated. I had to make a second trip to get a keg. Somehow I seem to be the only person bringing drinks for everyone. And still no girl for me. There actually is a sorority with my equivalent; however, the equivalent of a creepy old guy who should have left college life behind years ago is not a creepy old gal etc. (which would have been an improvement over my dates lately)--it's a crotchety eccentric bizarre old lady who shows up in clothes that smell like mothballs and slips an entire paper plate of nachos into her tremendously large old-lady purse, buttonholes any spare person (O.K., just me), and rails against gentrification for 25 minutes with her nacho and halitosis breath, and mercifully leaves because she doesn't want to miss a rerun of "Petticoat Junction."

My philosophical conclusion? Even though I don't have halitosis or wear a sweater in serious need of de-balling (and she could shave her upper lip while she's at it), the way she appears to me is the way I appear to the sorority girls.

I guess the reason why a particular frat party is like no other falls to which combination of misdemenors (or worse) are committed and what gets destroyed.

This party started to get out of hand by about 2:45 (a.m.). Four guys quite spontaneously insisted on demonstrating wrestling moves and a chair overturned, knocking over a lamp, which shattered, prompting someone to throw the empty keg through the window. People were shouting and laughing. And then I shouted, "Yo! PEOPLE! Cool it."

And they did! I should add that I am not a yo-sayer. In fact, that was the first time I said "yo" in my whole life. But everyone calmed down, righted the furniture, took out their wallets to pay for the damage, and at a decent hour the guests went home.