Monday, April 07, 2008

Lie #13 - party hearty

Chad said I was the coolest guy in the frat house and that we should celebrate my astronomical discovery. So we did what they apparently do every Monday night: I brought a case of rum and we got drunk and partied till 4 a.m. This was the first time was I attended a frat party.

All the frat brothers were there, of course. There was Chad, the good-natured, mesomorphic, all-American in a general sort of way. There was the studious nerd. And the somewhat aphasic athlete, who turns out actually does play football (he was the guy who ate the banana I didn't). There was me--the creepy older guy who should have left college years ago. And a whole bunch of other guys, including the good-looking studley athlete (not sure what sport) with a girl on each arm.

I looked around and I noticed that I was the only guy without a girl. I'm all for the two-girls-for-every-boy policy, but only if I'm one of the boys. I really thought that after literally being hazed to join this frat there would be some kind of benefit--at a party held in my honor no less. Even the wimpy nerd guy met a nice girl (with thick glasses etc., but I'd say she was librarian hot).

I asked Chad about this. "How come girls walk in and start making out with guys they don't even know.

"Because colleges are institutions of higher learning," Chad said, lifting a rum and Coke to his lips.

"They're making out with every guy except me," I said. "And some guy have two girls."

"You're the creepy old guy who should have left college years ago. No college girl is going to make out with you."

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